They say envy is powerful. It will consume you if you let it and where I'm from, it rules like kings do: that subtle control everyone falls victim to and that history will say was constructed from fear but really, it's that want for what you can never have.
I wonder if You will remember me tomorrow. Or if You will simply fade into forever like "it will be OK" or "this too shall pass." These cliches are not things to be hidden behind. I have finally figured out who You love more. Forgive me for the sin of not knowing your favorite color or the dreams you had before your crucifixion. I just didn't want to overstep my bounds. How was I to know it would lead me to being forsaken?
Pretend to like me long enough and You'll never be rid of me. I should have known then what I know now: if we were created in God's image, then He ignores calls from broken friends and makes up excuses not to see his kids, too. But I just want to know what makes them so special.
NO! NO! I will not go gently. NO! Not until You've answered me. NO! Not until you've noticed me.
I wonder if You'll remember me tomorrow. I wonder how many days of one prayer short and one miracle late it will take but I know better than to think it will change by the morning. But in case you do read this I guess I should give its proper end: in your son's name I pray,